Blessed. The one word that comes to mind after today’s race. I’m blessed to have a great family, good core group of friends, a supportive husband, a job I’m passionate about, and an awesome group of companies (Atlanta Bread Company @ Cherrydale, Supercuts, Trisports.com, Powerbar, Barracuda, and Nuun’s) that believe that I am worth helping. I don’t do tri’s for a living, I don’t make money racing, and I don’t place overall. Today had me questioning why I race, and not in a bad way. More of a reflecting and owning the true reason for racing. If you’re expecting a race report full of twists and turns and technical type information, go ahead and read a different blog for the day.
And this is missing one dog:)
The back story to what brought all this up was I woke up late, like 1.5 hours late. My week had included taking a day off to get my long ride (72 miles) in, and 4 house showings in the past 3 days, and being so exhausted I clearly fell asleep before even setting my alarm. I was grateful that as I got to the race site with 2 dogs and a 4 year old in tow Alex (babysitter and friend) was on time and already there with her man to help watch the crew while I race. I frantically (but calmly right?!) try to get everything set up and make sure I’m not forgetting anything. I scan the crowd for familiar faces, really looking for Jeff (partner in crime) who said he was racing. I don’t find him, but he sometimes he has a way of magically appearing out of nowhere so that doesn’t always mean he’s not coming. I’m barely done putting my transition together, and it’s already time to head inside. No stretching, no warmup, no IPOD to tune out my crazy thoughts and focus. Jeremey (race director, JD) is going over instructions as Susan and Flutie walk in and I’ve NEVER been happier to see her. (If you aren’t familiar with Susan check out her amazing blog, http://gottatri-atriathletesjourney.blogspot.com ) I immediately hug her, I know, you should all be scared! JD finishes the instructions, none of which I hear b/c I’m too busy talking to Susan, and states it’s time to head into the pool. I’m thinking I’m going to make it out of transition w/my emotions in tact until Eminem (Lose Yourself) starts to play. Well, let’s just say I immediately lost myself. I’m crying, like no way to hide it crying, and am part ashamed of myself for losing it in front of Susan and the other part just don’t care. I hug her again, I’m sure she’s thinking I’ve definitely lost it by now. I’ve know Susan 10 years, 5 Ironmen, and traveling abroad, and I’ve NEVER hugged Susan.
I walk into the pool trying to stop the crying as I don’t know anyone and they’re all probably wondering why this girl is crying at a sprint. I keep trying to gather my thoughts and my focus and it’s not happening. I do look around and see a few friendly faces, but still feel like something’s missing. One random girl in the swim line looked at me, smiled, and said, “You look terrified”. I was. I played it off as pre race jitters. The last thing I wanted to do was explain anything, I’d never recover after that. I missed my crew. I told myself swim bike run….isn’t that what I’m supposed to do Regina?!
The swim was 250 yards, it went by fast, and I was okay with that. I ran into transition thankful to hear Alex cheering me on, and ran out of transition to Susan’s kind words. The bike hurt. Pool swim tri’s can leave you out on your own on the bike, not a ton of passing goes on nor do you see a lot of people. This gave me time to think. Why?! Why am I out here when all the obstacles lately have been so tough? My crew isn’t racing, I’m not “fit”, I’m tired, I’m lugging around dogs and a kid….why?! Because I can. Because there are those who can’t and want to. Because I truly LOVE this sport, and honestly, I LOVE racing. I pushed myself on the bike today. Was it my best split, no, but I mentally rallied myself into the hurt locker. Triathlon teaches self reliance, I’ve forgotten that along the way and become dependent on those around me. Maybe time to shake things up:).
I roll back into transition happy with my bike effort, and praying that this run is over quickly. It was not. The run was one of the worst times I’ve posted in a tri. I don’t have much to say about it other than it was ugly. I stay mentally strong, but only by not looking at my watch. I needed no negative thoughts, I just went as hard as I could go. My run time was fast enough to secure a 1st place age group, but just barely….like under 10 seconds I think. Thank goodness I had one of the fast transitions of the day!
Thank you Mary Biebel (Supercuts Extraordinare!)
I was fortunate to have been greeted at the finish by my child (who was mad b/c I didn’t stop on the run to take a picture), Susan, Flutie, Alex (and boytoy), and my mutts. Days like today may be rough at times, but it’s just like life. The rough days teach us why to be so thankful on the good days. I reminded myself many times today to never give up, and I didn’t. So at the end of the day all I can do is be happy with that result.
**Susan I know things have just been downright nasty but you continue to amaze me, inspire me, and humble me. I was stronger today simply by having you there, and you definitely made me push harder. I needed a reminder today, a reminder that I can do things on my own, but that it’s AWESOME when I don’t have to. Friends are friends for a reason. I promise not to cry at every tri, although my 2 for 2 record isn’t a very good indication of things to come. The two words I need you to hear most from today are THANK YOU.
