So things since the half marathon have been a crazy rollercoaster ride. I started out the week so excited to start “tri training” as that meant we were almost to tri season and that just always seems to make me smile. Sure I get nervous about not being in shape and all the other concerns but it also seems to get me back on track and provide some normalcy to my life. The problem is, nothing is normal right now. I got in a good couple days of training w/a cold but productive track workout only to be knocked on my rear the next day by complete and utter exhaustion. I mean the kind where I didn’t even want to go to the kitchen for food, and I like to eat. Some people would blame it on the exercise, but I have taken almost 10 days straight off from exercise in the past month and I still had those ugly days. At this point i guess we will just blame it on being pregnant, uggghhh! It lasted 2 days, I was able to work Friday but I also had my moments where I thought I was just going to pass out. By Friday night, I was emotionally physically and everything else spent. I was so mad that I started out the week with the excitement I’ve been lacking and still wasn’t able to complete workouts. So saturday morning I woke up and was still questioning myself.
Why am I doing this? What am I thinking? Am I crazy for still wanting to try to enjoy some of the season? It’s so cold out, am I even going to enjoy the run I have on schedule? If not, what’s the point . . . .I think some of the problem is I am a creature of habit and I function best when I can get on a routine. The problem is, I can’t get on a schedule. Each day I have a goal of getting up and working out, but as someone else so eloquently put it one day you can get up feeling like you just finished an Ironman and not have done a darn thing. As I write these words, I just went to the kitchen to make a yogurt parfait and got a little winded and dizzy. Yet I still feel the need to workout. Workouts help keep me sane, but its also very easy for me not to do anything right now on these days that you feel exhausted. The thing is some days those feelings come and go, and others its an all day thing. So how do you try to keep things consistent when everything seems to be against you? Any magical answers out there?
I need to try to stay sane, I need to try to stay happy, I need to remain healthy, and I need to be smart about things. I know everyone who is pregnant goes through different things and handles things in different ways whether it be exercise weight gain or eating. All I can hope to do is try to do my workouts and use them as the outlet they are. My goals are to attempt each workout and see where it leads me. I know when I need to stop, now I just need to remind myself when to start.
